What matters to you?

As I review student essays (and applications), I’m thinking back to my own applications and essays many years ago. One prompt in particular stands out.

“If you could spend a day with anyone, real or fictional, with whom would it be, and how would you spend your time?” (Stanford University)

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I wrote that I’d like to spend the day with my future partner (whomever that might be), and I would spend our time together learning about their values, their interests, and their goals. How do they spend their time? What is their family like? Given the opportunity, what would they fight for?

I’d also observe. How do they treat others? Do they seem to live in alignment with what they say? I wanted to know…what mattered to this person I'd choose to spend my life with and why?

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I’ve not mentioned this often. When I have, it has been met with quiet nods or laughs. In some way, I understand those responses – it’s unrealistic to think anyone can learn that much about another person in a single day. And to choose “my future spouse” over a true historical figure as the person with whom I wanted to spend a day? To some, this approach probably lacks depth and polish.

[From this perspective, I’ll give my dad deep credit – he read it and asked if I were sure this is what I wanted to write about. When I said yes, he responded with pure support.]

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I didn’t realize it at the time and certainly couldn’t articulate it this way, but I was already thinking about values alignment. In this case, with a person that I thought I’d spend many decades with (almost 35 years now!).

Today, as I’m building an independent consulting business in an industry in which questions abound about both personal and institutional authenticity - and whether there is space for someone to find "success" while leading with their values - I find this mindset to be more important than ever.

Values matter. Not just in leadership and not just in one-off moments, but also in the everyday choices one can make.

More strongly, I will argue that values and strategy can coexist. In fact, values can be a leading driver of one’s life strategy, including the college process.

In my experience, students who actively seek opportunities and institutions reflecting their values seem relatively comfortable in a process known for generating anxiety and discomfort. Moving in alignment with what matters to them – guided by larger awareness of the system of college admissions – brings reassurance, knowledge of where autonomy exists, and satisfaction with (and in) the overall process.

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What does this suggest for early high school students? A few things (to start).

• Take time to clarify and articulate your values. Pausing to consider what matters to you will be important.

• Become comfortable with the reality that tradeoffs will exist at each decision point you confront throughout high school.

• Track choices made and reflect on the experiences, as well as the process of making a choice. Themes will emerge.

• Understand and consider the larger system of college admissions. Seek opportunities for greatest alignment.

I would never claim that finding alignment is easy or simple. But it is possible, and it starts with knowing what matters to you.

Stay tuned –

Beth

ROSECLIFF College Consulting, LLC