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Recently I caught up with a student I supported in one of my first years as a college counselor. She’s doing wonderfully. Our conversation brought us back to a moment during her senior year, when she was wrestling with her own college decision. She had been admitted to a college that offered exactly what she wanted. Strong academics. A chance to compete as a student-athlete. A path she had spent years preparing for. Then she visited another college and everything changed.

As we all count down to graduation ceremonies, I’ve been thinking about a question that typically starts the year. Every August, when applications are underway, I ask seniors: “What do you want your family to know about how you’re feeling in this process?” By that point, students have spent months researching colleges, visiting campuses, drafting and revising essays, and speaking directly with admissions officers. They’ve had quiet car rides home after tours. They’ve compar

What Are You Building? If you’re in high school, that’s a question worth asking every year. As a freshman, you might be building habits. As a sophomore, clarity about how you want to engage and contribute. As a junior, strategy—especially around your list and application approach. As a senior, confidence to make your decision and take ownership of what comes next. In the broadest sense, I like to ask families to consider high school as a construction phase. It's a time of

We can care about results without teaching students to live for them. Conversations I frequently have with students at this time of year revolve around a simple but uncomfortable reality: In the college application process, students are evaluated across multiple dimensions—academic strength, community involvement, leadership, self-awareness—but their time, energy, and attention are finite. That tension shapes nearly every decision they make. When students (and families) confr