The Long Game

A Guide for Staying Grounded Throughout the College Process

At this time of year, when “chatter” surrounding the college process is high, it's easy for seeds of doubt and worry to creep into the minds of students and their families. We’ve all seen this belief emerge — the belief that worth hinges on outcomes like where one is admitted, how strong the grades and test scores are, or how well everything is executed. If this belief takes root, the college process can become all-defining, shaping how time is spent, emotions are managed, and the future is imagined. 

This post offers a few ways to stay grounded throughout the college process, whether you're a senior in the thick of applications or a younger student watching from the sidelines. For all of you, our goal at Rosecliff College Consulting is the same: to help you stay connected to the “long game” of who you are.

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The Value of Hobbies

How can you stay connected to yourself, especially if many messages are telling you to define yourself by your performance? 

I posed the question to our colleague Jeff Hiser, Founder of Polaris Student Athlete Consulting, who offered a thoughtful answer, practical tips, and a personal example.  

One answer: Choose something that’s yours. 

Being a student-athlete (or a student with any full plate) comes with structure, goals, and responsibility. That kind of discipline can be great, but it’s also important to have something outside of sports or achievement. Something that belongs just to you, and that you do simply because you love it. 

In other words — a hobby. 

Hobbies are important for so many reasons. They offer a mental break from school and sports, while also showing a side of you beyond your sport or your grades. Many hobbies teach patience, focus, creativity, or problem-solving; these are skills that will help you long after high school. And hobbies can create new connections — shared interests can spark friendships you might not find otherwise.

Fun fact: I’m a beekeeper. I started because I was curious and wanted to support pollinators on our small fruit farm. My grandfather used to keep bees, and after watching him for years, I decided to try it myself. Over time, it became more than a hobby. It became a way to slow down, connect with nature, and learn about ecosystems.

Now, I share the hobby with my daughter, who began beekeeping with me at three years old. Together, we inspect the hive, learn about the bees, and talk about what we’re seeing. It’s fun, educational, and gives us a chance to bond without screens or distractions. That’s what a great hobby can do. It can become something meaningful, shared, and grounding.

How can you find a hobby yourself?

Start with curiosity. What grabs your attention — online, in class, or out in the world? Follow that interest.

Try something small. Watch a video, borrow a book, or talk to someone who does it. You don’t need to commit long-term at first.

Test different options. It’s okay to try a few things and stop the ones that don’t fit. That’s part of the process.

Make space for it. Set aside 30 minutes a week. Put it on your calendar. Treat it like practice.

Use your hobby to grow. Reflect on what you're learning or teach it to someone else. This helps it stick and adds meaning.

A sport might be part of who you are. School might be something you have to do. But a hobby is something you choose. It can help you grow, bring joy, build confidence, and remind you that your identity is more than one role and more than one outcome. 

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Managing Emotions During Stressful Times

Of course, even with joyful hobbies and great support, many seasons of the college process can still feel emotionally intense. How can students manage their emotions as they’re waiting for decisions, navigating change, or just trying to manage daily stress?

This time, I reached out to Nicholas Cassius Clay, Holistic Integrative Coach-Practitioner and Founder of Being One World. Drawing from his mindfulness practice, Nicholas shared the thoughts and suggestions below. 

College and life changes can feel overwhelming, and it’s normal to experience lots of emotions. Here are some quick tips to help:

Name your emotions without letting them define you. An emotions wheel can help put words to what you’re feeling. For example, instead of saying, “I have anxiety,” or “my anxiety,” say, “I feel anxious,” or “a part of me feels anxious.” This small shift adds clarity.

Let yourself feel emotions instead of resisting them. Most emotions naturally pass in about 90 seconds. If they stay longer, it's usually because we’re holding on and feeding them with thoughts.

Breathe through it. Practice deep inhales and slow exhales for at least a minute. This calms your body’s stress response and helps you stay regulated. Practicing this often makes it easier to handle strong emotions.

Once you’ve balanced yourself, look back at what happened. Your clearer, calmer mind will help you respond from a place of growth, flexibility, and empowerment. What can you learn? What would you do differently next time? Emotional reflection leads to real lasting growth.

It’s easy to become attached to a specific outcome, like being accepted into one particular school. Instead, focus on your commitment. For example, you can commit to getting a quality education or being financially proactive with your school loan(s). 

Commitments are internal and empowering, while attachments give your power away to external factors. Choose to stay rooted in what you can control.

These practices can help students respond rather than react, and stay emotionally grounded during a challenging time.

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What Families Can Do to Help

Families play a critical role in how students experience the college process — not just in the logistics, but in the emotional landscape as well. While the intention is often to encourage and support, that care can sometimes come across as pressure, even when it’s not meant that way.

The most helpful support often comes through presence, perspective, and communication.

Shift conversations from outcomes to values. Asking questions to understand their thinking — “How are you feeling about everything right now?” or “What part of this process are you proud of?” — will feel supportive to your teen. 

Celebrate effort, not just results. Recognize the courage it takes to apply, to wait, and to dream. Or, to use Nicholas’ language, talk with your teen about setting commitments, individually and as a family. 

Normalize uncertainty. Transitions are uncomfortable, even in best-case scenarios. Help students understand that it’s okay not to have it all figured out.

Find a hobby! As a parent, hobbies can help you have an identity beyond the process, too. And as Jeff pointed out, a hobby shared with your teen is a terrific way to center activity and conversation in something beyond the college process. 

Support rooted in understanding helps students remember that their identity is larger than any one decision.

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The Long Game

Although the college process can feel all-consuming, we hope these ideas help students and families cultivate meaningful habits, strengthen relationships, and stay anchored in a broader sense of identity.

Taking small, intentional steps now — such as exploring an interest, starting a conversation, or setting aside time to reflect — can lay the groundwork for personal growth that extends well beyond admissions decisions.

Stay in the long game and stay tuned - 

Beth

ROSECLIFF College Consulting, LLC